Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/rhod rhod_20140531-1727a.mp3

Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in the studio in Swansea with Eggzy. But for the first 20 minutes, no one can hear us.

I should start the show. There's normally a bit of music and stuff around this time, but ... / I could pretend, dudrdrdr ... / kicked in 15 minutes ago / Yeah. / I started to introduce / show / Good morning / I said, "Hello. How are you doing ... uh ... and the producer said, "We can't ... nobody can hear you. Nobody can hear you. the ... the studio was crashed. This is Rhod Gilbert, live on BBC Radio Wales, with Eggzy from Goldie Lookin Chain in a little studio in Swansea ... uh ... But entire Welsh ... uh ... radio thing went down. We crashed, right ... I don't know / always happens just as the show starts / all fine / the producers, you've been here ... / We __ two hot drinks / Two hot drinks / You know, it's been really good / strong beginning / Hello, this is Rhod Gilbert, live," and he went, " / can't here you, can't hear you / studio's gone down. I said three words, and the whole studio went down. Interestingly, uh, @rhodgilbertshow, the twitter feed, not a single tweet about it. / I ... I did tweet I was gonna cry. I did tweet that I was gonna cry. / You tweeted about it, saying "I'm co-hosting the show, but there is no show to co-host." / Yeah, and uh ... / studio is crashed / public / single / nobody noticed. / Nobody noticed. Uh, I don't know what they were doing, but obviously, now we're gonna take it to the next level. / we / we've got / serious catch / serious content / we gotta ram some content / down your throat / make something up / Oh, really? / We will just smash it in. You will be entertained by the end of the show, I guarantee. / We've ... we / smash __ content down your ... down your ear throat / your ears / content, we've got ... I've got a quiz later on. How excited ... uh, ... which quiz do you want today? I've got, uh, I've got, um ... I've got two. / OK. I like a good quiz. / I've forgotten the second one. First one was jacket quiz. / Right. Jacket quiz. / already a strong beginning. Already ... / reason we / speach / at the beginning / jacket quiz / blow people's mind. / That's fine. Jacket quiz is fine / just as well that the studio crashed and __ full of music / do you know what's ironic? Do you know what's ironic? I just remembered / we were both / quite early today / normally we arrive / , right? / five minutes / I was here / quater past ten, / Huh huh, / and you were here shortly after. And, uh ... we were staying here, just looking through the papers, having a light-hearted g__, / yeah / and I started going .... I started doing a bit of Jimi Hendrix's riff, / and I dropped in the ... / you ... you retaliated. / Yeah. Riff wars. / with Smoke on the Water / yeah / And, after a few minutes, we both realized that / riffing away independently / one of us / I don't remember who said, "Hey, listen to us riffing / independently / and I said / music goes down. / we / riff away. Ironically, the music stayed up and we disappeared. / Yeah. There was, uh, there was no backup for b__ / no / there's no / we are back in the zone now. We are on the road / no backup __ __, people, remember that.

People have been tweeting to the show, Egzzy. / Strong response. At least eight people have, uh, sent messages in. / Yeah. It is, uh ... some of / to do with the fact that / first 20 minutes of the show / just played music / talking at all because the studio crashed. "It was like the start of Laurence of Arabia. Powerful." says / It was powerful. / I was going to give it half an hour before checking you were OK. I was worried, though." says A__ C__ / That's the audio equivalent to watching the milk bottles pile up on an old neighbour's front door. You know, seeing the newspapers / just give __ another two days / call the authorities / take / in by Friday / the office / noticed / " Well spotted. / Good. / you noticed / nobody said anything. / Great observational skill / past you / music selection was great." It was all right. Uh ... "Brilliant fun, as / BBC / Radio Wales, Swanzy studio __ complete meltdown during the @rhodgilbertshow. Inadvertent comedy gold." says Patrick S__. / It's like __ __ Dad's army / uh / for this one / this morning was the best first 20 minutes / Rhod Gilbert show / waiting for that, __, waiting for that one / not talking. Huh. Brilliant. / show / supposed to be a light-hearted g__ / better have a look. / we / light-heartedness / I'll tell you what. I've been looking through / is, grim, __. / constantly bad news / constantly, really ... / man has terrible foe, then has headache, then has to pay loads of money for a bill / sort of news, you know / that one specifically / on the ball all week. / OK. So, you've been gathering / pulling out ... excuse me ... more, more, um ... more light-hearted stuff. / Rhod Gilbert'__ / hunter-gatherer of light-hearted news / Student Eats / that's not very ... um ... / sorry / bad one / looking for a light-hearted g__ through the newspaper. "Student eats his own hip." / Oh, come on / worm last night / an earthworm. I don't know why I did that. Very strange. / Why did you do that? / something wrong / I was just puzzled. I was puzzed as you are now. / __ __ came up to you / Eggzy, long time no see / ah, nice one / is that why / I / seen you for a month? / a lot of friends / a, uh, snail / Wow wow wow wow wow. / OK. Yeah. Go on. / before you start talking about / snail / about to say / yeah / I'm still stuck on worm / I / this is what happened to me. He said, uh, / whole situation / it was kind of a music event / in the Newport area, where / from / nothing wrong staying local / nothing wrong with staying local. I was just hanging with my home__s / and / hadn't seen for a long time. / Good gig? / Good gig, actually. A band called __, which is a Russian style, uh, Russian style, uh ... folk-punk band, if you could imagine that. Great gig / really great show / play in Radio Wales? / you know / probably is, actually. / __ __ gig, yeah, last night. And, uh, / few / for a while / they / have a good time / how is it going?" / yeah, not bad, uh ... / what / up to / wife and kids, um, / having a couple of / enjoying / wife and kids / in a gig, having a couple of ... / how old are the kids? / like / seven and eleven / it was a family event / outdoor family event / music festival / everyone was there / facilities for the kids / that's all right then / kids / going on there, you know / and, uh, / seen you for a while / great / up to? / At worm." "... All right / later on." And that was it. You know / said / hang on, you know, I'm not ... / been up to / how long / probably 18 months to two years. / And that's / done / eating a worm / Uh ... god knows. I mean / massive / last time / saw you / we ate brain. Do you remember that? / that's not all / I've done a few things / you came in this morning, we did say a word / little hug / long time no see / say / what have you done since, uh / last / ate / brain. And that's it. I / by the way, __ should point out __ anybody thinking / brain / we were in Italy, in a restaurant that served brain. We / just gone to the dark side / just started / sudden crave for human flesh / limp / turned out / just realized why / student / his own hip / student, an art student. Apparently he was born / deformed hip / cooked and ate it / I see / doctor / fitted with a metal replacement / Right. / d__ hip, and he ate / own / really bad / his art / boil off the flesh / light-hearted g__ through the newspapers, everyone. Keep it light. / that's, uh ... yeah, move on, moving on from ... / all right / one / go on / one / this is light-hearted / yeah, go on / feature out of this. / Go on. I love / ok / new feature / Yes or no on the spot: traffic warden. / OK. / New feature, yes or no on / traffic warden / yes / spot prime minister. We / Corky or somebody on the spot / really tricky hot potato of a question: yes or no, he / prime minister / has to answer it / this is / this is the same / traffic warden / you are the traffic warden. Traffic wardens ... / Huh huh, / ... now have free bus passes." Do you know that? / I didn't know that. / that's, um ... that's the story / free bus passes so they can get / while / parking tickets / you are on a bus, / yeah, / to get to work, and the bus parks ilegally. Yes or no? On the spot, traffic warden, do you give your own bus a ticket __ __ __ get on to work / yes or no / yes / feature / tricky business / traffic warden. Tune in next week.

We are going strong now, mate / light-hearted g__ through the papers today, we've got / second half of the show / jacket / one question / That's fine. / about jacket / that's absolutely fine / Play Your ... Play Your Price Right. / This is a strong quiz. / which / you / play interestingly / as, uh, Eggzy / you're gonna play as yourself / contestant #1 / And contestant #2 is interesting. It's you again, / yeah, / that play the character called Dean from North Wales / Dean / very exciting to be here / that's him / you're gonna be playing against yourself / in your alter ego / at the moment / nature / Play Your Price Right / which is, eh, uh, hibryd of Play Your Cards Right, and / you are doing / decided / except that I've got / hello, all right, ladies and gentlemen / this is such a strong show. / room / It's wonderful, isn't it? / you know, just think / dusty bin, and then / think / that's Ted Rogers / I know / but / cigarrette indoors / rumour / about Ted Rogers / good rumour or bad rumour? / interesting. You know that three-two-one thing? / The old three-two-one / hand movement / used / how did Ted do that? / playground practicing / hours and hours / rubic cube / with our little fingers / Yes, yes / apparently / Huh huh, / apparently ... now, this is very ... / not / BBC / behind the looking glass now, guys / I don't want anybody get on my bottom or backside, chasing me / apparently / three-two-one thing / something I've heard / this is pub stuff / Yeah / three-two-one thing / with / fingers / we were all mesmerized / apparently ... / go on / is this like when they ... / quickly / wow, three-two-one / just three-two-one / apparently it wasn't / like four, six / just ramdom? / moving slightly / six / unless / too fast / didn't even see / that fast / imagine / cards / we need to get footage and slow it down ... / yeah, / just like / film, and watch / somebody must have done that / nobody's slowed down Ted Roger's / his hand. / If you've got a computer / right now, go on-line / find Ted / that's what / in this modern day and age, you know / get on there / your video recorder / people / any more, you know. / VHS? / Yeah. / beta max / I'm not an idiot / mate / still use it? / on a regular basis? / I would use it twice a year / clock / flushes up 0000 / you haven't set / no one ever set the clock, do they? / never set / millenium bug / destroy us all / VHS / readout / nothing / classic. Absolute classic. ... This is a great show. / Oh, / great show, Dean. / not yet. I haven't / to the, uh, studio yet.

ball / Eggzy, this morning / breakfast / Kind Regards / one crust, and one non-crust. For the non-crust / I chose the / and buttered it, which made me think / if anyone / crust side / toaster bread" ... No / of course nobody butters the crust side / when / of course not. Of course not. / just / internal side / nature of the bread / throw that out / skin of a banana? No, I don't. / it is a bit like / just silly / yeah / It's like saying / lovely spagetti B__ / plate / do you / on the top / Twix or M__B__ / chocolate / available ... do you eat / wrapper? I don't. / people / just / yourself / It's like saying / hotdog / do you throw the hotdog away and / empty-handed? No. / when / birthday cake / kind / Eggzy / birthday cake / Do you stamp on it? / do you punch a pie / feature / just ridiculous / punch / If I'm honest / do / punch / quite like the feature / punch / chicken and mushroom / slum the pie into a bin / never punched a pie / there you go / go. You can't take part in this feature. / that's true.

could you try / it's all / as long as / you / generic / that may be a bit more like Liverpool / good at accents / I'm all right / good at accents / my favorites / OK. Go. / very hard, this. / see what happens. / People / tricky. OK. / strong feature / strong stuff / all podcastable. / all of it / Although I / level with you / punched a pie / is a great one. I've waited for that coming / when we say "pie", we mean hot pie / yeah / hot pie / I don't mean / custard pie or something / OK. Yeah. / this is / too christmassy / too far / what were we talking about ... Oh yeah. ... Five accents. / Yeah. / ten seconds / wait / great / strong show / five accents in ten seconds / OK, yeah, OK. / you ready? / let / I'll just, um ... / pressure / in the studio / prepares for this year's Five ... Five Accents in Ten Seconds / competition / the pressure's building in the studio / I can't even think / five accents / any part of the world, any region of this country / could / moment / OK / regional's fine / promise / take on the challenge / very good opportunity for me to / get you in hot water here / Chinese / all / all / I'm not gonna do it / You can't see what's happening, but / number five / just trying / OK. / five accents / stop-watch realize / hang on a minute / do that / realize / OK / Right / this is a strong show. This is a great show. We are really getting into / subject / matter / strong issues / stop / this is, this is ... / five accents / if you want / play along at home. / Master Accent. Welcome to Master Accent, with me, Rhod Gilbert. Right. You have got ten seconds / Birmingham / M__ / M__ / bit like that? I'm not sure / Glasgow / I'm having a great time / pretty good / ten seconds / partly, I think, I p ... hesitated before saying so / give you that / you came back / on __ page / Glasgow, so, / did / I did not read Glasgow. I did not read it / you said it almost / pretend / I didn't see / I could / like a doctor / no idea / I admit you couldn't have seen it / read / myself / pressure was on my mind / snapped / amazing / five / great game.

lots of stuff / great pie response today / great pie response / emerged, "Have you ever punched a pie?" / burning / fighting / believe / pie / late 70's. Nobody has __ pie any more / Are you a __ pie lover? / well / something / years / why would you? / Exactly / head / apple, beef, fine / long / almost / sometimes / that's true, actually / almost / believe / doesn't know / definite punch there / couple / bad language / and then / leave it. Not worth it. / says Katy __ ... says, "Having / nice / into / apple / oven / for fifty minutes / fist / that's a definite confirmed pie punch / right there. / I don't blame you / I don't blame ... I feel a bit sad for her / sounds / tweeting twice, remarkably / gentle / she's come back / really hungry / feel / feel / I would definitely give / says "No. Why would you / that's ludiculous / other / forget the whole feature / gone / written / never punched a pie / I have ... I have punched a burger / we are not talking about / dead / pointed out / sorry for wasting your time, Berami / Yeah. / go back / just music / no talking /

great fun show / mountain, baby-sitting agricultural machinery ... / Wow. / until 9 p.m. / hanging out / do / whole day / do? / Why / babysitting / just / it's not gonna wonder off and, you know / traffic / something / true / bad people / out there / Phil / Hey, Eggzy ... Eggzy's laid down the law / strong views there. I'm sorry / stick on / mama / Yeah, but Phil / solo artist / your cup of tea, is / show like this. This is a cutting-edge show / cutting / cutting-edge, mate. / Radio Wales if you / stuff like Phil Colins / go / middle-of-the-road kind of station / exactly / all / come to / mate / go to 6 Music / punching pies / you know / Carol / in Rugby / says / yeah, yeah yeah, __, / what / get off / you remember, earlier in the show, somebody / nothing / said / you know / piece of toast / buttering the backside / buttering the backside / Pink F__ album. / Buttering the back side of the crust? / does sound / it / I don't know / Pink Freud / fairly consistent / what are we talking about / back / somebody / does / butter the backside of the crust / stupid / bready loaf side / said "No, they don't / gave plenty of examples / didn't / listen / podcast / decide for yourself / Exactly / with this / you know, / butter the crust side of a piece of bread / Really? / such a clever / have / crust / piece of bread / sandwich toaster / so crazy, L__ / I'm just saying / bother / question was / on toast / point / that instance / L__ / sound / sandwich maker / does Eggzy / I do realize / first things / sandwich toaster in a cupboard / not often used / pointless / we / totally different thing, OK? We are talking / backside of the crust / circumstance / butter / what if / in a ... in a ... / backside buttering competition / talking about normal / making / twisting the truth for / own benefit / pie / subject / strong pie response today. / slap pies / OK / like punching / differnt / allow it, I think / clever / slap pies / on the wall of my / college / quite a good game / OK. / arguably wasteful, / find / find it offensive / days of austerity, where, you know, / people are struggling / slap pies on the wall / these are / happen / people, ... they don't yet, in life, appreciate / often / very true / other people / find / tastless / tasteless / waste food / in a world / world of inequality / such / decadant westerners / pies / first time / home / get mad / take / exactly that / personal / Rhod, we / slap pies / wall of my college rooms / whoever / last was the winner." from Ritchie / used to have a game like that / did you? / pies / slid down their wall / look, it is wasteful, it is distasteful, / tough times / on the hand hand, I do quite like / game / band / moderetely successful pop group / Goldie / sandwiches / hugely successful / charts / which / pretty good / exactly / how many songs / disc / been in a ... I don't know / ABBA or something / Rugby / other / made / producer says / coming / I was thinking / C__ in Rugby / blonde one / amazing / Oh, dear / that was / from North Wales / coming / this quiz / totally forgot / in a moment / new / with the / catalog from a well-known retailer / well / retailing / before we do that, though, / mini-quiz / mini warm-up quize / because / do / in the Daily Express / available / back / picture / jacket / yeah / picture it now / offer / all sizes / plus / that's the quiz / right / ok / and / replaces chimp quiz / whatever / past / jacket / only one question / says / good / save / much better / it says / most famous style jacket / quiz question is / what is / Daily / think / out / what is the / most famous style of jacket / according / jacket / one question / give / think / in my mind / got / usual / one / program / run / algorithm / algorithms / genetic / no / no / anything / own mind / most famous / my mind / the rain ... the raincoat / amazed / to be honest / ok / mind / insufficient tool / might as well / scrap that / might as well / loafer / coat / not / not / clearly / next week / options / very / right / is / again / yeah, yeah ... I've got it / wax jcket / not / got / left / ok / ok / not / at least / know / got / grasp / I'm thinking / jacket / going for / think through / world's most famous style / mind / allow / get / many / five choices / two definite ... definite / ok / think / another / let me get this / keep it / four / jacket / firstly, is it a biker? jacket / oh, oh, so close / well done / getting / last choice / bomber jacket? / oh / have / more / already said / did / did / already / say blazer / you down / ok / is / this is it / monkeys / I can't think of another / cannot / come / is / denim / come on / what about / getting / is it a / this is just / no / world's most famous / even / all I / jacket potato / all / do you know what / it / potato / big / classic / based / famous / design / man just wearing / potato / keeps you warm in the winter / style / no / is / what is it / that's rubbish / absolutely rubbish / chance to play ... play / Eggzy / play / great times

If you enjoyed that one, why don't you listen to the whole show? / rhod / bbc / 11